Random Thoughts


I recently received my layoff notice.  It was not entirely unexpected.  For fourteen months, I’ve known that my department would be re-organizing, and we learned along the way that we’d be re-applying for our jobs.  Still, having that piece of paper suddenly moves rumors and speculation into a reality; a sometimes harsh reality.

This is not new territory for me.  I’ve lost jobs before:

  • In 2004, the program I was working in at a major non-profit ended
  • In 2008, I was released by my then employer
  • In 2009, a short-term contract was cut short in an off-shoring move

Through each of these events, I’ve leaned heavily on what I know how to do: IT Technical Support.  I’m good at it.  I also enjoy working with people, so answering a HelpDesk line works for me.

But I missed something in each of those experiences.  I had an opportunity to really look inside and see what fulfills me; what makes me get up and want to trade my time for income; to reinvent myself.  Honestly, in each case, I saw the end of the paycheck, and the lack of corresponding end to bills and expenses and I panicked.  I got wrapped up in having to find a gig that pays “X” amount, so we can keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, the cats fed, bills paid, and the list goes on.  Three times I stood at a junction elected not to take, as Robert Frost put it, the road less travelled.

So, here I am; looking at the necessity to re-apply for my job, knowing that there will be fewer employees in my department as a whole, and fewer specifically in my team.  I have an opportunity here, again, to finally take that look inside myself.  I have an opportunity to begin the process of re-inventing myself.

So, I find myself writing, frequently, in my journal. I’m asking myself questions; things like:

  • What really makes me happy?
  • What do I envision myself doing?
  • What will give me more time to spend with Maurie?
  • How will I react if I don’t get re-hired for my job?
  • What if I don’t get an offer that pays enough money?

As Maurie and I talk about this, and what the future holds for us, all options are on the table as potentials…changing career paths away from IT?  Maybe…  Downsize everything and live a vagabond’s life (this is actually something we were already planning to do, just a couple of years down the road, once the debt is paid off)?  Yep, that’s there too…Take a multi-pronged approach to earning a living?  Another possibility…

Well, which will it be?
Well, which will it be?

Where ever this takes Maurie and me, it will definitely be an adventure!


6 thoughts on “Reinventing

  1. Mark you are oh so right to consider this lay-off a wake up moment. Oftentimes one of the hardest things we must do as an adult is decide between a job that pays the bills and a career that is satisfying to the soul. Being somewhat in the same boat as you, I have chosen to try my hand at satisfying the soul, not the checking account. It’s a little scary…but if you do what you love, the universe will know and “work” will come your way. I will always vote for the road less traveled, and I hope you are able to find your way down that path too! Good luck to you on your journey!

  2. I feel like the biggest idiot right now. You’re Maurie’s Mark! I didn’t make the connection. OMG, I’m sorry! LOL. Anyway, thank you for sending me your blog! I’ll put it in my reader feed!

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